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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081383">Undone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrangeaX/pseuds/DrangeaX'>DrangeaX</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:47:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrangeaX/pseuds/DrangeaX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle is over and they return home Aqua struggles to feel normal again. Between her ever-increasing stress, her issues, and other things she feels she might fall apart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Unfocused</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aqua couldn't believe it. She was finally home with her friends. After all that time spent lost in darkness hoping to reunite with them it was almost surreal that she was here at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dawn broke over the mountains in The Land of Departure symbolizing a new beginning for them. They were exhausted with only rest and recovery on their mind, but there was something they needed to do first and that was to properly mourn Master Eraqus after all these years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They made a memorial for him with his keyblade on the ledge that overlooked the castle. A lovely wreath adorned it and their wayfinders dangled from it as a reminder that no matter what hardships their friendship would always survive as they shared an unbreakable bond as Aqua once said. They mourned in silence in an attempt to let go of the past. It wasn't going to be easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what now?” Terra asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ventus looked back and forth between his two friends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could join the others in the afternoon?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>It could be the first step to some kind of normal </span>
  </em>
  <span>Aqua thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s think about it after we get some rest ok” Terra didn’t seem comfortable with the idea.</span>
</p>
<p><span>On their way back to the castle a bizarre little cat had shown up immediately attaching itself to Ventus as if he'd always been with him. </span><em><span>Strange</span></em> <em><span>but it made Ven smile so no harm in that right?</span></em><span> That is until it introduced itself as Chirity. Animals didn't talk, at least not here in the Land of Departure but again </span><em><span>if it</span></em> <em><span>makes Ven happy </span></em><span>she thought.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Once in the castle, the boys crashed in the living room, too tired to make it to their room. The battle and the events from the past years had worn them out. Ventus was sprawled on the couch snoring loudly while Terra laid on the floor on some cushions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Not a care in the world. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before passing out they had asked her to join them. Terra offered a spot next to him making it more tempting. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> mentally and physically exhausted but she declined instead roaming around the castle checking what needed fixing or restocking. She only did it to distract her mind from other things she much rather not think about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chirity had quietly followed her around from a distance. She assumed the little thing was just curious about its new surroundings. It marveled at every mundane thing, it also touched every dust-covered thing with its paws as if letting her know it needed cleaning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Add that to the list.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Smash</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned around, it seemed Chirity had tripped with the small table in the hallway. The vase that once adorned the spot lay shattered on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry," Chirity said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's ok" She hesitantly patted its head to reassure it was not a big deal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she picked up the fragments she thought how she wasn't any different than this vase. Once whole now broken somehow. Only time will tell.</span>
  <em>
    <span> If I pick up the pieces I should be fine.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She set them on the table, for now, her hands covered with small cuts she didn't bother to heal. Physical wounds were nothing. She could take care of them with a simple cure spell or let them heal over time, but mental scars were different, no amount of cures are going to fix that. Speaking of she came face to face with a mirror for the first time in years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She froze on the spot. Her heart was pounding and her breath hitched. Sweat formed at her neck. She tensed as her senses heightened and her legs wanted to give out as she trembled. Her body couldn’t decide if she would fight or run. The urge to call her keyblade was very strong right now as she was close to panicking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Calm down, it’s just a mirror. Deep breaths,  breathe... in...breathe...out ... breathe in ... breathe out ... in...out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once she calmed down she looked at it again. There was nothing odd about it. It was a regular mirror with her reflection. That's what they're supposed to be for right? She did notice the lack of aging everybody was surprised about. Her appearance was the same as the day she got lost. Only her eyes told a different story, she knew if anyone stared into them long enough they would notice her spark was gone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What am I now? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She stared for a while to make sure it stayed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm being paranoid, this is ridiculous. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chirity pulled on one of her sashes, taking her away from it trying to help. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Strange, curious little cat.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am now, thank you”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while, she made her way back to Terra and settled down at his side, her back to him. He lazily opened his eyes but upon noticing her closed them again, he put an arm over her keeping her close. It was weird being next to him after such a long time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she laid there her mind had a million questions for her. All begging for an answer right now.</span>
</p>
<p><em><span>Am I going to be ok? Are we going to be ok?</span></em> <em><span>What if something goes wrong? What if Ven doesn't wake up, what am I going to do? What if Terra...?</span></em></p>
<p>
  <span>"Aqua, close your eyes for a bit" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She jerked from his sudden words</span>
  <em>
    <span>. How does he-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
  <span>Try to relax" his arm tightens around her and his breath was on her hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Relax</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that's something she hasn't done in a while. She wasn't sure if she'll be able to anytime soon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm safe now right?...next to him?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt like mentally kicking herself for thinking that. She knew he would never hurt her, at least not on purpose. Closing her eyes she drifted off for at least an hour or two.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the afternoon Riku came for them to make sure they went to the party. He laughed when he found them all on the floor in a pile of limbs. Ventus had fallen off the couch crashing into Terra and her. Chirity had apparently pushed Ventus from his seat to wake him up. Talk about a rude awakening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>*****************************</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ven was excited at the thought of more people to hang out with and Aqua just wanted to feel normal again. She always thought the beach at Destiny Islands was really beautiful. Now Terra didn't want to go. He said something about feeling like he didn't belong but in the end, they convinced him to tag along not wanting to go without him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't a big party or anything but they had some much-needed respite. Most of the time was spent catching up and introducing each other to the ones that didn't know them. Some of them were running around, others collected seashells. Aqua couldn't help but notice she was the one out of place not being able to relate to the spoken feelings among the group. She kept smiling hoping no one would notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"...nice catch"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"...this way"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>At least Ven and Terra are having fun.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She quietly drifted out of the conversation going for a walk instead. Once far enough she took off her shoes and stockings and walked along the shore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The soft sand under her feet and between her toes, the sound of the waves as they came and went, and the warm rays of the sun on her skin were all more than welcome. All this combined with the beautiful turquoise sea next to her had a calming effect. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she kept wandering she stepped on wet sand. It sank slightly with every step she took, the water was  nice and refreshing on her feet. She stopped and turned around to watch her footprints fade away as the water came for them barely leaving any trace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm doing it again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She used to do the same thing during the last years in the darkness. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cold, relentless, and unforgiving</span>
  </em>
  <span> darkness where she had been all alone, nobody to talk to or comfort her and tell her everything would be fine. The only company had been disembodied voices telling her how much of a failure she had been. They came when she least expected it, whispers of the dark trying to wear her down so she would give up. Then there was the phantom that would never leave her alone. Now that her heart had been touched by darkness she thought they might have been right. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a failure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't deserve to be here…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took a deep breath as the brisk ocean breeze gently caressed her face and hair pulling her out of those thoughts. It was like breathing in life itself. It seemed to tell her 'You're here and that's all that matters'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her gaze wandered until it settled on Kairi and Sora on the bent Paopu tree watching the colorful sunset. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They made it! </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was romantic how caught up in their little world they were. Maybe a bit too much since they didn't notice she was their audience. They just looked so perfect together almost as if they were made for each other and most of all in love. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>, such a complex and foreign feeling to her at the same time, made her a bit jealous as she yearned to experience such things. Could she ever? Did she even deserve that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder how that feels?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She thought of Terra and her together as more than friends for a bit. Stolen glances between both in the past suggested there might be something unspoken between them but she wasn’t really sure. She had a vague memory of an intimate moment like this before, but nothing came out of it and now more than a decade had passed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He probably won't even remember or was that a dream?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was running around with the others carefree like she'd never seen him before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess that's what happens when you finally have control of your body again. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat at the edge of the water hands around her knees contemplating the lazy movement of the waves and then focusing on the sunset.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"...Thalassa shell!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's so pretty!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girls a couple of feet away were still scanning the shore for shells. The blonde one was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Xion </span>
  </em>
  <span>and the black-haired one was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naminé</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
  <em>
    <span>right? Or was it the other way around?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, she couldn't remember right now. She had wanted to leave for some time already not really knowing how to behave with people again. It felt overwhelming to be with all of them right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...ua?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra sat down next to her quietly, she pretended not to notice him not knowing what to talk about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Say something, anything!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>She parted her lips but then stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don't have to say anything,” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They watched the sunset together in silence for a bit. Aqua didn't notice that after a while he was studying her and the way the sunset illuminated her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The view it's beautiful isn't it,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It is" she simply stated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I haven't been able to enjoy a sunset in forever"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Me neither" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Aqua"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed her hand suddenly, trying to get her attention. His cobalt eyes gazed at her intently searching for something. Had he always been this forward with her?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He said something about the beach. About her eyes and her hair. Then something about the ocean breeze, the sunset, and his heart? She tuned out most of what he was saying. It was only when his warm hand gently touched the side of her face that she reacted at how close they were as his lips were about to press on hers only a breath away…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you doing Terra?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sora! Sora!!" Kairi cried</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Interrupted, they made their way to the others who gathered at Kairi's side. She had Sora in her arms. He had fainted and wouldn't wake up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just like Ven. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was possible he was just exhausted but the fact that he didn't respond was something to worry about. Riku decided he would take Kairi and Sora home and look after them. It was unfortunate, he had saved them all and yet had to possibly pay a prize for it. Shortly after, everyone went back home too. Their little celebration had been cut short.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>*****************************</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night they sat down together trying to be as honest as possible with each other. They knew the most obvious obstacle between the three of them right now was communication. The fact that they had been drifting apart before disappearing didn’t help. Apologies were exchanged, long overdue hugs carried out, the laughter they missed all the past years rang through the castle and the tears held back flowed like a river.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ven decided he would stay up. He joked about how he probably wouldn’t need sleep for years now. But last time she checked he was fast asleep with Chirity on the couch again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So much for that.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Terra...was somewhere in the kitchen stuffing himself. He said he was too hungry to sleep right now. So here she was in the library by herself. Sleep as far away from her mind as can be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was making a list of all the good things that normally sparked joy or at least warm fuzzy feelings in the past. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing, not even close.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It was all like having a water-down version of normal feelings. Everything was so dull.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The problem was after the teary reunion with her friends and the rollercoaster of emotions they went through in a day she felt numb.  Something she had at some point experienced wandering in the darkness. She knew she would never be the same but what if she wasn't able to feel normal anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of the library door opening got her attention and she quickly folded her list and hid it. She didn't want questions right now. They talked about how it was like for them all those years but she wasn't ready to share.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra was standing in the doorway now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t bring up the beach. I have no idea what you said. I'm sorry I didn't pay attention and it was awkward.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span> "I'm going to bed"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, ok"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> "Are you going to stay up?" He looked at the doorframe like it was the most interesting thing ever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes. I'm not tired yet" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm afraid to not know what goes on for eight hours but I can’t let you know about that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Alright see you tomorrow then"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded "Goodnight Terra"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aqua” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?” It appeared he was looking for just the right words to say something. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not about the beach, not about the beach.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing, goodnight”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that, he left closing the door as quietly as possible. She supposed as the days went by they would all get used to each other again. She did miss the hug he used to give her before he went to bed. She remembered those nights when they used to sneak into each other’s rooms behind Eraqus back to talk all night. The memory drew a small smile on her face. Still talking to her from the door instead of sitting next to her was a bit extreme. Maybe he needed some space? Or maybe she had messed up by not addressing the fact they almost kissed? She blushed a bit at this last thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll try my best tomorrow”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wanted some distraction so she went around the library grabbing books here and there and set them on the table to read. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe tomorrow, just maybe.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Achoo”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The books were fairly dusty so she went back to the bookcases and started dusting every single book one by one. She didn’t care how much time it took she was gentle with the old books sneezing all the while. Once she was done she sat down again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What else…? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that she thought about it everything else probably needed cleaning too. She looked around for a mop and a rag in the little storage closet and got to it. She didn’t stop until everything was nice and shiny.  Now finally done she sat on the window looking outside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn already? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first rays of light shined on her face as she contemplated the sun rising. A simple yet beautiful thing she had also missed. There were no sunrises or sunsets in the Dark Realm. Only endless night and whatever that was at the Dark Margin. That ugly fake sun at the shore was all she saw day after day, that and the endless dark waters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop thinking about it. Today’s a brand new day and you will make the most of it!  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She found herself with renewed energy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I better get breakfast started" she stopped, smelling herself for a bit. “After I take a shower that is”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Unexpected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Terra was awake first thing in the morning. He had been staring at the ceiling ever since the morning rays and the cool breeze came through his window. His bed was a luxury he didn't want to leave just yet. How long had it been since he could decide what to do? He still believed his free will could be taken away at any moment even if Xehanort was gone. He crossed his arms behind his head as he focused on what really kept him in bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmare from last night was still fresh on his mind. He was certain it was a memory from the past feeding his guilt even more. Things he probably did under Xehanort's control, things that he knew would continue to haunt him in his sleep. It had been about Aqua and their confrontation at Radiant Garden. How he almost choked the life out of her delicate body as her legs kicked in the air. The look on her face as her best friend tried to snuff her out of existence. That look of shock and hurt had burned itself on his mind forever. Then he did it again at the Keyblade Graveyard. He threw her and Ven around like rag dolls. Their words hadn't been enough to stop him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They could’ve died. No...I could have killed them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had apologized last night, but no amount of apologies was ever going to make it right. Even if he spent his entire life doing it. They forgave him saying he wasn't in control when it happened and that it wasn't his fault but still he knew deep down it was something that would always be there like his darkness. He didn't fear it anymore, it was part of him and who he was after all,  but he also didn't see himself using it either. If he were to show even the slightest bit of it they…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They would be afraid of me. They wouldn't want me around, they wouldn't trust me. What if they think like that already?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra was a very physical person. He was better with actions than words when it came to expressing his feelings and the thought of them being afraid of him and cutting back on all affection horrified him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head as he tried not thinking about it too hard and his mind moved on to Aqua once more. They had fun yesterday at the beach but Aqua seemed distant, detached, and not that much there. He tried confessing his feelings for her, a half-decent job but at least he worked up the courage to do so. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her hair and her eyes? That's the best you could do? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad with words. This is why he made that awkward attempt to kiss her only for her to remain unfazed by his actions. Like it didn't register in her mind at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did I even think it was a good idea?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>If he had succeeded she would either have liked it or slapped him for daring to do such a thing without asking. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A slap would have been nice. At least it would have been some kind of reaction.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fact she hadn't brought it up bothered him even more. Is not like they were total strangers to affection and that sort of stuff.  He teased her a lot in the past and even gave her a peck on the lips occasionally. Not that they felt anything since it was always part of a dare or a bet and neither took it seriously. Now that he thought about it they used to dare each other to do...questionable things. Things he didn't mind at all and she never complained about either. So maybe there </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>something between them, it just didn't have a name yet and feelings weren't that clear, from her side at least and she was different now. Something had changed and he didn’t know what it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She probably doesn't trust me anymore. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave up. He just gave himself a headache and his mind was even more of a mess now. It was better if he rested some more and went down when he was in a better mood. He turned away from his window and closed his eyes for a bit and as he was falling asleep the sudden pounding on his door startled him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Terraaaaaaa!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Ven, being loud first thing in the morning like always. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey get up, Aqua is waiting for us"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Be there in a few," he groaned. It's going to be a long day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>*****************************</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good morning," Aqua said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Morning Aqua," they said in unison as they stood at the kitchen's entrance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing could have prepared them for the mess they had before them. Bowls, pans, and pots were scattered everywhere. Aqua had taken everything out of its place to clean the kitchen. He would never understand her need to clean as a means to keep busy. She moved around carefully putting everything away and once she was done sat down next to them as they ate their breakfast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was slowly taping a finger on the table as she looked around the kitchen observing her work. He glanced at her and noticed the dark circles under her eyes. Her posture suggested she was rather tense too. Something was bothering her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No sleep? Stress maybe?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, what's the plan for today?" he said as he finished his orange juice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was thinking we should do a quick exercise to make sure we're still sharp"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't want to train. Can we just relax?" Ven complained while he texted something on his gummiphone. They all had one but Ven understood it better, Aqua hadn’t even touched hers and he didn't care where he left his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Who is he texting this early?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be quick Ven. We still have to clean this place up after all" she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I rather train the whole day than clean if you ask me,” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath as she crossed her arms giving both of them a look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Look guys, we can get this out of the way and then we can all go do with our time as we please. There's not much to do anyway,” she said with slight irritation in her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ohhhh, can we go for a swim at the waterfall after we're done?" Ven asked, looking expectantly at her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The one the Master used to discipline us at?" she questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three of them shuddered as they remembered all the times they ended under that waterfall for hours. Wherever their Master was now he probably had a laugh at their expense. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I swear sometimes he would punish us just because he could, especially me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ventus was now using his please pretty please face on Aqua. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s not going to say no to that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gave up as Ventus kept silently begging "Alright Ven, but only if we do a decent job and finish early”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Great! Thanks, Aqua" Ventus jumped out of his chair giving her a quick hug. She tensed from the sudden contact but she hugged him back. He wanted to hug her too but it would be awkward and he had no excuse to do so right now. The rest of their breakfast went in silence in fear she might actually yell at them if they complained once more since she looked a bit irritated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>*****************************</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the training grounds, Aqua had outsmarted them. Now that she was a master he supposed it was only natural that she would continue to excel but she appeared off somehow. She pointed out their deficiencies with a harsh tone and was more strict than usual. Ven pointed out to him how she faltered in her steps a couple of times when she went against him and now that he thought about it she was a little uncoordinated and sort of careless with her attacks but he didn't want to bring it up. It didn't change the fact that she still bested them during training.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the afternoon they moved on to cleaning the castle, however, it didn't go quite as smoothly. Aqua and Terra had a disagreement and now they were mad at each other. They've only been back for a short amount of time and they were already at each other's throats. He blew up and went for a short walk around the castle. It always helped him to cool off and she probably was doing the same in the library nose deep in a book but along came Ventus as the peacemaker and dragged them out for that swim he was promised, already wearing his dark green swimming trunks and a white shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Come on you guys promised" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had no choice, Ventus would never let them hear the end of it if they broke a promise so Terra went back to his room and put on his orange swim shorts and one of his usual black shirts. On his way out he decided to wait for Aqua in front of her room. It was better if he apologized now. That way they could move on with their day and enjoy their time at the river. Her door opened with a creak and she poked her head out looking around until she noticed him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you help me out with something please?” she asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She suddenly stood in the doorway with her back to him wearing a black two-piece swimsuit with pink straps to keep it in place and one of her blue sashes tied as a skirt. She was keeping her top in place with her hands since it wasn’t tied properly. It was rather distracting and as much as he wanted to look he adverted his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can't tie it in the back. Can you get it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, no problem” he swallowed pulling the thin straps as he focused on making a knot around her back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m sorry...for losing my temper earlier. I don't know why I said that" she said as she lowered her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's fine, don't worry about it. I wasn't exactly in a good mood either” He moved on to fixing the straps around her neck and as he did the guilt from his nightmare came rushing back. “Still have a lot of things on my mind" he added.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I shouldn’t be this close to you, I hurt you. I need to know you won't be afraid of me because of it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held his breath as he carefully traced his fingertips down her neck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop that, you're probably scaring her. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She didn't say or did anything as she stood in the same spot.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Is it ok? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He asked himself before he slowly wrapped his arms around her hugging her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. She shifted a little under his added weight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She's...not pushing me away?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He let out a sigh of relief. A tear wanted to come out but he wasn't going to cry in front of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Terra? Are you...ok?" she asked with concern in her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm fine. I...missed you a lot" he said as he let go.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"O-oh ok. I-I missed you too...we should go before Ven comes looking for us" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah” he rubbed the back of his neck stepping away from the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they both left they crossed paths with Chirity who had been doing its own thing all day and certainly didn’t mind being let alone. The little cat refused to go to the river with them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No thanks. I rather stay here where is nice and dry"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The walk to the river was a long one but it was worth it. The rocks around the waterfall made the crystal clear body of water a natural swimming pool. The steady flow of the cascade brought them a lot of memories as the Master used to bring them down here to cool off during the summer months. Unfortunately, he also would bring them for punishment, making them sit under the roaring cold waterfall for hours until they were an exhausted and hungry shivering mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Setting their things on a nearby rock Ventus wasted no time as he took his shirt off and jumped into the nice and cool water and Terra followed his lead. Aqua took her skirt off as she cautiously went in testing the water. She laid on her back closing her eyes as she drifted peacefully with a small smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t stare, it's rude. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shook his head trying not to think about it when a splash from Ventus hit him in the face. He slowly turned his way with his arms crossed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Ven said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he found his gaze wandering again Ventus caught him with another splash of water. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did Ven notice? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Terra narrowed his eyes looking at Ven who had a mischievous smile on his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, he did. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He chased him around in the water as Ven did his best to not get caught but Terra still did and they wrestled until Ven surrendered. As a penalty, he told him he had to dive from the waterfall, which wasn’t really a punishment. They’ve done it many times before but he was just buying some time alone with Aqua. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was out of the water sitting on the rock where they left their things and Terra joined her waiting for Ventus to jump. It would take him time to get up there. At least now he felt better since everything appeared fine between them. Ven still treated him like a big brother and Aqua was ok with that hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried starting a conversation but Aqua didn't seem to be able to pay attention for long so he settled for discreetly looking at her for now. Her wet blue hair clung to the sides of her face and drops of water slowly went down her neck. He focused on a particular drop going down her back wanting to know how far it would make it. Would she think he was a pervert if she caught him staring? He looked away immediately not wanting to give her that impression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, have you thought about what I said yesterday?" he said not expecting her to actually answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Terra...I-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Heyyyy you guys up here!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dammit, Ven. Couldn't you pick a better timing? Seriously, the moment I say something...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ventus took a few steps back, then ran and jumped over the edge falling on the pool of water below making a loud splash. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That was great! Come on Terra you're next" Ven said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra did the same as Ventus was urging him to do so. He climbed over the path on the side until he made it to the top. He jumped without much thought and the rush it gave him was amazing, unlike the rush from battle is was good. He convinced Aqua to do it and they waited by the water's edge on the rock as she made her way there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Next time take a picture It'll last longer,” Ven said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't know what you're talking about,” he said as he tried to keep a neutral face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Come on you were totally staring" he teased while nudging him with his elbow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Ding'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, fine be like that. Two can play that game.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wonder who that could be?" he picked up Ven's gummiphone with an amused look on his face as Ven's eyes went wide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Terra give it back" Ven struggled to get his gummiphone while Terra kept it high over his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How about you forget I was...</span>
  <em>
    <span>staring</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I don't look at your phone?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine, you're no fun," he said, taking his phone back as they both turned their attention to Aqua atop the waterfall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was standing on the edge looking down at the water then she gave them a quick look as they waved at her. She nervously stepped away from it. For some reason, she had changed her mind apparently because she was coming down the same way she had climbed up there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey what happened?" he inquired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not feeling like it today I guess, sorry,” she said as she sat down next to him hugging her legs to her chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm going again then" Ven took off fast as he headed to climb once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua was stiff, eyebrows pressed together and eyes scanned the area as if looking for possible danger while shivering slightly and she was rubbing her arms. He looked around and didn't find anything out of place but she kept her gaze focused around the same spot on the water's surface.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything alright?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should leave. It's getting cold and...darker” she said resting her head on her knees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Here,” he nudged her on the arm as he handed over his shirt. She put it on immediately. “As soon as Ven comes back we’ll leave alright?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>*****************************</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Back in the castle after a nice hot shower and a warm meal they were ready to call it a day. Except for Aqua, she had changed into her pajamas and all but she couldn't stop thinking about what she saw. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What was that?</span>
  </em>
  <span> An unwanted memory from the past or the lack of sleep was finally getting to her, either way, it worried her. She was headed to the library before the onset of a headache made her think twice. She rubbed her eyes and yawned as she opened the library door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Some sleep would be nice. Oh-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She bumped into Terra who was on his way out losing her already questionable balance. He grabbed her shoulders and steadied her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry about that, came to say goodnight. Are you staying up again?" he asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Actually I’ll walk with you. I think I'm ready to turn in for today too"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their steps echoed down the long hall to their rooms and they remained silent until they reached her door. She was about to go in when he stopped her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Aqua”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Not now Terra, I’m tired.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He seemed to catch on because he stopped himself and instead he opened his arms wide offering her a hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A hug would be nice.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same. It was different from the hug he gave her earlier, more natural and relaxed. They stayed like that simply taking comfort in each other’s arms until their eyes met and she noticed the way he was looking at her. She could read him like an open book, his intentions to go in for a kiss were clear and she brought her fingers to his lips, stopping him when he was so close. She looked away as the disappointment in his eyes grew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra I’m-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please let me say it at least. Aqua I have feelings for you”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I have too many things on my mind right now. I might want this, but I’m confused.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let go of her at the lack of response. He didn't get the answer he was hoping for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good night Aqua…" he said with a sad smile on his face as he turned to walk away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fix this. You’re hurting his feelings right now. Do something! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grabbed his hand and he stopped as she inched close to him once more and stood on the tip of her toes planting a small kiss on his right cheek. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hopefully, this will be enough.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I’m sorry, I promise we will talk about this sometime soon ok” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok” he sighed </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Goodnight" As soon as he left she closed her door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sleeping was going to be nearly impossible now that she had to think about Terra’s confession too. A part of her always knew but right now she didn’t feel mentally ready to start that sort of relationship. At least she had delayed that conversation for a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned her attention to her bed and there it was, her fluffy, clean and waiting for her, unslept in forever. She had changed the sheets this morning as she was cleaning up around her room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It shouldn't be that hard.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat on it for a bit looking around her room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, that's right the light.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She went and turned the light off sitting on her bed once more. Her heart was pounding. Now in the dark, her eyes scanned her surroundings carefully making sure there was nothing. She held her breath as something moved in the shadows of her room immediately turning the light on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>See there's nothing. You're very tired that's all.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once more she turned her light off. She laid back and pulled the sheets over herself staring at the ceiling as she did breathing exercises meant to help her relax and sleep, something she read in a book yesterday.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Close your eyes, sleep now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Closing her eyes had been a mistake. If before she thought she saw something now she could feel it. Shadows crept around her room closer and closer to her bed with each passing minute, ready to pounce and tear her apart. She was lightheaded and nauseous. The notion that something was going to jump her any moment now was too much and danger felt imminent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>“Are you really worthy of being a Keyblade Master?”</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She panicked jumping out of bed and rushed out to the lit hallway. She started running not caring where she was going slamming into things along the way without stopping. Anywhere was better than her room right now. She came to a stop at the end of the hall panting as she bend over clutching her stomach and nausea overcame her. She looked at the floor thinking now she had to clean that up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That...was awful. What was that back there?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wrote this so many times I lost count. It was giving me a headache. Anyway, here is what Terra said in chapter one in case anyone is wondering.</p>
<p>“I’ve always liked the beach. It sort of reminds me of you. I guess it’s because of your eyes and your hair or maybe it’s because your presence is like the ocean breeze, pure and refreshing.  What I’m trying to say is that as I watch this sunset with you I feel something in my heart. Something I’m not sure of but I want to let you know. I think is best if I show you and you let me know”</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My first time writing something.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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